


What Did You Do With My Heart?

by hirusen



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attacks, Blankets, Carrying, Couch Cuddles, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Father-Son Relationship, Feels, Heartbreak, Hugs, I'm Sorry, Inspired by Music, Language, M/M, Movie Night, Platonic Relationships, Post-Break Up, Sad, Tags Are Hard, Who's Ready For A Feels-Trip?, Why Did I Write This?, i'm not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-18 23:46:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13692363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hirusen/pseuds/hirusen
Summary: It's been months, both Thomas and Patton have moved on, so...why does he feel like this?





	What Did You Do With My Heart?

**Author's Note:**

> Underlined playing is a link to the music I listened to while writing this; to fit the scene, you'll need to listen to it on loop until they leave the room. I'M SORRY!! T^T

Curled up on his bed, he's been listening to the song on the loop for hours. God, what the fuck was wrong with him? It's been...long enough for both Thomas and Patton to have moved on so...why was it so difficult for him to do the same? Virgil swallowed around the tight lump in his throat, fighting hard against the tears that swelled up in his eyes. 'Virgil? You still alive in there?' He faintly heard Roman call, and he choked back the crack in his voice. "Yes! I'm fine!" He shouted, just wanting him to go away and leave him alone.

Yeah...he's been in here for the last three days. Sure, he hasn't been eating much, but he was still eating! And it's not like he hasn't done that before, the other Sides knowing that he was just handling more anxiety than he's used to, it's nothing new. So why was both Roman and Logan so insistent that they keep checking in on him like this? He strained his hearing to focus past the music playing in his headphones, picking up that Roman was walking away. He felt bad, knowing that his boyfriend was just being his usual protective self, but Anxiety wanted to be alone right now. To be alone for...for however long it takes him to get through his mess of emotions.

He glanced over to the clock on his nightstand, seeing what time it was.  _Huh...dinner time..._ Patton was cooking tonight, and while he loved his cooking, he wasn't feeling too hungry. Ten minutes later, there was a knock on his door. 'Kiddo? You awake in there?' "Yeah!" 'You gonna join us for dinner?' "I...I'm sorry, Patton; I'm not that hungry!" He called, thankful that he didn't open up his door; he couldn't face Morality as he was right now, nor did he want to see his face at his rejection to eat. 'You sure? I could always bring you up a plate for later, if you want.' "No, Patton! I'm okay!"  _That's a fucking lie and you know it._ True, but what was he suppose to do? Tell them that he was still heartbroken over the loss of Thomas's longest love?

Virgil felt his chest get tight again, trying to focus on the song while he took slow breaths. No need to have an attack while the father of the group was standing right outside of his door. '...Do you want to talk, Virg?' He mentally cursed; they all decided that they'd call him Virg if they were extremely concerned for him. "No! I'm...I'm fine, really!" He heard Patton sigh and that didn't help his heart from  **not** twisting itself into painful knots. 'Alright. You know we're all here for you, right Virgil?' "I know!" He curled further in on himself, unable to hold back the tears anymore. "I know..."

* * *

"Are you sure though?" Roman questioned when Patton came back downstairs, Virgil still in his room. "I don't know what to think, Ro. He says he's fine, but even  _I_ can tell something is bugging him." Logan leaned back in his chair, his hand coming to rest against his lips, something he does when he's stressed and needs to think of a solution to a situation quickly. "No. That's it. It's been too long; I'm not leaving him alone like this anymore!" Roman spoke and he shot to his feet, the chair he was in nearly toppling over.

"Now, Roman, there's no need to be so hasty. I'll agree that it has been quite an extended period of time for him to be behaving like this, but--" "Logan, don't even start." Prince Roman's tone was icy and it ended any type of debate from Thomas's mind. "I'm going into his room, with or without any of you, and I'm going to find out what has been eating at him for so long, whether he wants to tell me or not." "Whoa, Princey! There's no need to get so aggressive with him! And, come on, this is Virgil we're talking about; what makes you think that he'd even let you into his room without permission?" Thomas asked, having to actually ask Anxiety to let him into his room when he was the only one who was normally allowed to freely come and go when he gets like this.

Roman growled deep in his throat. "What am I suppose to do then, Thomas?! For all I know, my boyfriend could be suffering through something he shouldn't be tackling alone! I'm not about to stand idly-by while he goes through that!" He barked, puffing for air once he had gotten all of his words out, the anger at himself so clear it was almost a punch line. "We're all worried about him, Roman." Logan spoke up, getting all of their attention. "We just don't want you to go to his room alone; perhaps he's going through something  **you** can't help him with, but  **we** might be able to. We want him back at our side, too."

Some of the gusto left Roman, having calmed a bit at Logic's words. "...Very well. Shall we?"

* * *

Virgil sensed more than heard as they came to his door. 'Virgil? Are you awake?' He could hear Logan ask, knowing that both Patton and Roman were with him. "Yeah! What's up?" He called, but then he heard someone stepping towards the door, Virgil instinctively putting up his defenses, locking them all out of his room. 'My dear, please, let us in.' That was Roman and God was his heart breaking even more. He wanted to, so badly, but he didn't want any of them to see him like...this. "NO!" 'Virgil, please. We need to talk.' "Then talk through the door! I'm not letting you in!" 'Virgil.' He heard Roman warn and he softly cursed; he was stuck, either he opened the door himself or Roman was going to kick the fucking thing down to get to him. " _ **DON'T DO IT, ROMAN!**_ " He screamed, his anxiety kicking in, changing his voice, making it darker.

He heard as the others stilled. It was never a good thing when Virgil was having an anxiety attack. 'Virgil, honey, please, open the door. I'm not letting you have an attack alone. Please.' Roman begged and Virgil whimpered, almost unwillingly removing his shields and letting them in. Roman quickly rushed inside, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, cooing soft words to him, even though he knew he most likely couldn't hear them over his music. "Now, what's the matter? Why have..." Roman cut himself off as he saw Virgil's eyeshadow streaking his cheeks, little rivers of tears cutting through the black.

"Virgil, dear, what's the matter?" He choked back a sob, curling up into a ball, not looking at the others. "...What on earth have you been listening to?" " **No** , _don't!_ " Virgil tried to stop Roman from pulling out the cord of his headphones from his laptop, but it was no use, the group now listening to the song that was [playing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-ioh5LjZIc). It was the song Thomas had sung some time after his break-up. "...Are you still upset about him leaving, honey?" Roman asked, and Virgil couldn't take it anymore, breaking down with loud, horrid sobs, his body shaking as he nodded his head. Roman reached to pull him into his embrace, but Virgil pushed him away.

" _ **NO!**_ _No_ , **don't** , **_I'll_** \--"  _I'll stain your clothes._ He tried to say, but he couldn't, his voice getting choked in his throat. The group realized that he had been listening to the song on loop when it repeated without Virgil's input, making them get even more concerned for him; just how long as he been listening to this? As it been for the whole three days he's been in his room? Longer than that? They didn't know, and they doubt he would tell them. Virgil choked on a sob, letting Prince Roman gently take his chin in his hand, letting him try to wipe away the tears and make-up with a tissue, but knowing it will only smear more.

He was shocked when his face was suddenly flush with Roman's chest, the man holding him tight. " **No!** _My make-up_ **_will_**..." He pulled away, scared that he just ruined his boyfriend's clothing, when he saw that there was no trace of black on the white. "Make-up remover, remember? I like to keep them on hand." Roman cooed as he threaded his hand through Virgil's hair. "Kiddo?" Patton spoke up, stepping a little further into his room. "Has this been what's kept you in here for so long?" He held up a picture of Thomas with his ex-boyfriend, back when the two were happy. Virgil nodded his head, his tears unhindered now, no longer caring if the others saw him in such a pathetic state. "Oh, son, it's gonna be okay. I know he meant a lot to you, heck he meant a lot to me too, but we have to trust Thomas. He's moved on, so have I. And...we're here for you if you feel like you can't. I'm here for you if you need me, Virgil."

Patton spoke, his arms spread to offer Anxiety a hug and the Side lunged for it, slamming full force into Morality, arms coiled tightly around him. "Dad! _I-I_... **shit** , I--" "Sh, sh. It's okay, Virgil. I've got you, kiddo." "D-Dad, Dad! Patton..!" He choked, his face buried into Patton's shirt, feeling the sleeves of his cardigan gently rubbing against his throat. The father of the Sides pulled him closer, rubbing little circles into the small of Anxiety's back. "...I know this is hard, but you need to let him go. This has been a very difficult time for Thomas, as well as for me, but if he was what you had been relying on to stay calm, then I think you have forgotten something, son." Virgil glanced up from under his lashes, his eyes misty. "You have us. Your family. We are always going to be here for you, no matter what happens. I promise."

He spoke, that kind, warm, fatherly tone in his words and Virgil felt like the vice on his heart and chest loosened just a touch. "I-I know th-that, but...I just...fuck." Virgil pressed his face further into Patton's shirt. "I know I need to let him go, but I can't. It...It hurts too much to try." "Can you try for us? We're all right here, kiddo." Virgil swallowed thickly. "I...I-I'll try." The group was quiet as Virgil focused on the tie that held Thomas's ex to him, taking a slow breath before cutting it. Almost immediately, he felt a weight being dropped from his heart. "There we go. You did good, son. I'm proud of you." He gave Patton a weak smile, his shaking calming a little as his attack vanished.

Virgil was still incredibly upset though, and that was not something that was easy to fix. "How about we watch a movie? Maybe cuddle up on the couch for a film or two?" Patton asked and Virgil agreed, his arms wrapped around the other Side's shoulders. Patton moved so he could grab Virgil's thighs, lift him up and cradled his body against his frame. "Logan, could please get his things?" Morality asked as he started to head out of the room, knowing that Roman wasn't too far behind, Logic nodding his head.

Thomas glanced up from the sofa and went wide eyed when he saw Patton carrying Virgil downstairs in his arms. "Is he okay?" "He will be. I'm sure of it." Patton spoke as he sat down on the couch next to Thomas, moving Virgil until he was resting against his chest, his legs hooked over the top of Thomas's. "...You look good." "Y-Yeah?" "Yeah. I haven't seen you without the make-up before." "But...I look exactly like you. Why is this a surprise to you?" "Maybe because I just always think of you with the make-up on." Thomas confessed, a little smirk snapping on and off Virgil's lips. "You are so hopeless at times, Thomas." Logan came down a minute later with Virgil's stuffed fox and comfort blanket, the ball of anxious nerves making a happy noise when he was swaddled in the blanket, his little fox cradled protectively in his arms. "Here we go." Roman spoke as he came out of the kitchen, five mugs of hot cocoa on a tray, handing one to each of them.

Roman picked out a couple of movies that were on the cheerier side of Disney, knowing that anything with a dark tone wouldn't be good for Virgil right now. They were all enjoying spending this time together on the couch, Logan at the far end of the sofa, Thomas next to him, his hand mindlessly stroking up and down Virgil's legs; Patton was sandwiched between him and Roman as he took the other end of the couch, his free hand threading through Virgil's hair and massaging his scalp now and then. About half way into the first movie, Virgil scooted off Patton's lap, settling into his boyfriend's, though Patton kept a hand on his leg now that they were out of Thomas's reach.

The trio enjoyed when the lovers belted out 'Agony' when the part played, Roman taking the lead, knowing that Virgil liked to hear him sing and that the man himself was a little shy about singing himself (even though he as an amazing singing voice). It took another movie, but at last Virgil felt better. "You feel better, son?" "Yeah, Dad, I...I do." Patton smiled, cupping his cheek in his hand and stroking the skin with his thumb. "That's good. We were highly concerned for you during the three days you spent in your room." Logan spoke up, his eyes soft so Virgil knew he was trying to express that worry as best as he could; they knew he was getting a little better at it, but expressing emotions wasn't Logan's strong suit. "I'm sorry. I should've reached out for your help, but..."

"You didn't want to look weak." Roman finished and the man in his arms sighed, defeated. "Virgil, my raven, you could never appear weak to us; it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help. If anything, you would appear to be as strong, if not stronger, than how we know you to be." Virgil scoffed, but curled closer to the Prince. "Yeah. And, if you were worried that you would be shunned because you were still stuck on him, that wouldn't have happened. Ever. It's...hard getting over a first love. Trust me, I know." Thomas's comment actually got a soft laugh out of Virgil and that had put all of them at ease.

"Yeah...You guys are right, I... I was just...overthinking things...again." "That's okay, Virgil. You are Thomas's anxiety; sometimes, you have to take in all possibilities before you act. Just, don't be afraid to reach out if you are unsure about something, okay?" "And if I don't?" "Then I will break down your door." The banter got a few giggles from the others, but they were just happy that Virgil was smiling. "...Okay. And, Dad?" Patton raised a brow. "Thanks. I'm...glad I have you for a father." Patton petted Virgil's hair lovingly. "And I'm glad I can call you one of my sons, Virgil. I'm always going to be here for you, no matter what happens in our lives." "And that goes for me as well." Roman chimed in, Virgil playfully smacking his face, but that smile wasn't leaving his lips. "So...one more movie?" Thomas asked. "Yes. And can it be one with songs Logan knows? I wanna hear him rap again." Virgil stated and the named Side just smirked.


End file.
